I don't know whether I should be happy or not.
I am about to lift the weight in my shoulder and somehow I wasn't relieved as I had thought. But I have to, I know how I'd end up if I still continue to pursue it. Its a poison yet so sweet to taste and you can't get enough of it.
It is an ending and also a beginning. A start of something. A weird way to respect myself, to stop myself for being so blind. I didn't realize that all I've done is just jeopardizing myself. I have to be selfish at the moment, being selfish sometimes is needed.
They said I'm worth more than I thought. Which part of me is that worth?
They said do what makes you happy. But why they stop me to be happy whenever I want to?
Its for the best, I know. Its an ugly truth and you gotta be against it. You have to accept it and let go. When it is the right time, you'll get what you want. There's always the right time, the right moment, for everything.
Maybe this time I'll do it easily. I'll pass the time without the suffering I put myself days ago. Maybe.