October 15, 2016


by the time you decide to continue reading this post, you have agreed to not bring up this in front of me or anyone else. you automatically promise not to tell anyone but me. so be wise about your decision.

she was beautiful. a sweet one girl with a signature smile and dimples in her face. she was young and tremendously alive. she was beautiful, but not like those girls in magazines. she was beautiful for the way she is. she would stop people for telling her that she is beautiful, but i never get bored to tell her. she laughed every time i told her my jokes. which i laugh at too, but i laugh for different reason. i was laughing for my life, for the inferiority i had to her. she was every man's type.
she was smart. a genius but not a nerd. she had the capability for attracting people with her brain. people would talk about her smartness, praising her every time she nailed to share her knowledge. she was an ace. aced almost every class in the school. thats why i envy her. thats why people envy her. although it was her nature to be a smart ass.
she was humble. she was shy. her sincerity was not doubtful. sunshine shines through her. she has that light that she wasn't aware of. the thing that makes everyone is so excited to be on her side. she never thought about the negativity in people. she accepted them and if there's a mistake between her and people, she would blame herself.
she was an introvert person. she would shut people off every time they want to get to know about her personal life. she covered her bruises and wounds perfectly. she didn't want people know about her past. her dark past (but i think its not very dark tho). her insecurities. her self-blaming. her mystery. yeah, she was the mystery instead.
she once got heartbroken. by some guys i dont even know. she wouldn't let people know but i had the privilege to listen to her past. she has this regret for not loving someone entirely, for loving someone falsely, for caring the wrong person and abandoning the right one. people never know what she had been through, but i do. and i was honored.
she would drown herself in books. spending hours just to finish some fictions. she would spend her time to study too. one time she were studying until she got sick. she gave up her fitness just to see her parents proud. which she wasnt aware too that her parents had already proud of her since she was born.
she ate a lot. but still being elegant in every way you can see her. she loved tv series. she'd rather spend her days watching series than hanging out since its way cheaper. but sometimes she hung out too, she can manage it wisely, when it was okay to get outside, when it was okay to be home.
every work of her was done perfectly. she wasn't like the nerd you think. she was an active person. a young soul that want to waste her life in cool way too. her mind wasn't always about her grades or her notes that she has to get done. its more about that. somehow she did everything in amazing way.
she thought that she was okay. not so high, not too low. but she was far more than okay. she was almost perfect. i can't even find her weakness. she was smart, pretty, kind, funny. that's all the man needs from a woman. and i cant even compete her.

//a story of her. a story of a person i wanna be. a story of my insecurity//