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August 4, 2016

12 am and complaining.

I thought my life never ever gonna this fucked up.
I know its already August, but you know my summer break doesnt go well. I had my birthday surprise a week ago, it was lit but gak setimpal sama semua hal buruk yang happened in last July, which was 3 days ago.

I got bad grades. I dont know why this feels harder than my previous grades which was also not good. I cried a lot, I found myself curling up in the dark of my room, pitying myself and my life.
But thank God I have the best mom.

But, thats not what I'm gonna talk about here

Several hours ago, around 1 or 2 p.m. I had a shocking fact and all I did is crying. Which is embarrassing and I look like more cengeengg tapi its so shocking and disappointing.

I had a friend, a guy if you asked. I thought he is so trustworthy and can keep his words. I mean its a super important thing I share to him and I dont want anyone knows, except some people who also (I think) trustworthy enough to get my trust.

I didnt know he told other people about my curhatan. Its disappointing, I mean I know I didnt share my secrets again like for months but you know when someone trusts you you have to keep it hidden anytime, whether you never keep in touch anymore with the person who trust you. It just hurts. 

This is the second time I feel betrayed. I never expect, my guy friends, would be more annoying than my girl friends in the case of secrets, stuffs.

I'm gonna start writing in Bahasa from here.

Iya aku tau ini postnya ga penting bgt WKWK tp karena emang bingung harus cerita ke siapa, gamau bebanin orang2 dan teman2.
Sedih kalo tau orang yang udah dipercaya, malah ngasih tau kayak gitu. Maksudku dia ga punya hak buat ceritain itu gitu loh, ke orang yang bersangkutan. Apa susahnya nutup mulut? Apa susahnya jaga rahasia orang?
Malu.
Malu banget kalo selama ini udah ngira orang yang bersangkutan itu gatau apa-apa padahal kenyataannya dia tau semuanya, dari orang yang udah dipercaya sama kalian. Jadi bingung kan harus percaya sama siapa.
Ga bakal nyangka kalo yang bocor gitu malah laki-laki, aku kira bakal temen cewek gitu karena kan cewek emang suka ngegosip. Tapi salah hahaha

Aku ga sukanya kenapa dia kasihtau, padahal menurutku dia ga punya hak untuk bilang ke orang itu. Kenapa dia pura-pura kayak gaada apa-apa? Kenapa dia ngebiarin temennya ngelakuin hal-hal yang bakal bikin temennya malu-maluin?

Wkwkwk merasa bodoh sebulan lebih udah kayak diboongin, banyak yang jahat gitu ya. Tinggal bilang jujur gitu loh. Buat jaga perasaan? Tapi ga gini juga...

Udahlah, cuma bisa bilang sedih. Kecewa.
Gatau harus percaya sama siapa lagi.