May 30, 2016

may thoughts

i cried again last night.
i thought i wouldnt cry anymore since i have decided few things for my life.
turns out i couldnt even keep my decision.

but you know i still wanna keep those feelings.
people told me to shut them down to stay away to keep distance
i am not that kind of person who can do it easily
saying it is easier than getting it done.

maybe its the only way i could be happy?
or not?
all i want is just i am happy and he is too.
actually its really ok to see him doing just fine, when my whole world collides.

i dont deserve him. but i force myself.
its not good.
its ugly for your soul and life.
but how can i stop myself?

maybe i will wait for the miracle
or wait for another to come and impress me
i have to stop little by little
until i dont have you in my mind at all